“Leaves (The Way)”

In my apparent new quest to get out all of my old caregiver feelings, here’s one from today.

“Leaves (The Way)”

I am covered in leaves, fingers tracing lines in the dirt
My drawings make no sense, they don’t show pain, they show no hurt
I’ve lost my way, I’ve lost the strength to show you my truth
Or to anyone anything more than what they need to hear

So who have I become? Who must I be?
Is there anything left of me in me?

The leaves are falling down, coming down
Makes no more sense than last year
And I have still not moved, I don’t know the way
The leaves are coming down, raining down
The same words falling this year
And I have still not found myself, I don’t know the way

New poem/rap – “Pray”

“Pray”

Today I was inspired to make a few things clear
My feelings on religion, dogma, hate and fear
Hypocrisy and disgrace, words twisted to conceal
Any trace of love that some insist they really feel

I’ve lived my life and at all times I do the best I can
Accepting human frailty and working hard to mend
And knowing I’m not perfect makes me better comprehend
That nobody can be a paragon at every bend

So I guess it’s always rankled being told that I’m not clean
When the ones doing the shouting are often dirtier than me
Spending so much money on the house but not the soul
Building bigger buildings that don’t help to heal the whole

Now I have met a slew of good god-loving Christian pals
That always have a good kind word and help out when they can
The ones that live to follow their sense of divinity
To heal and love and cherish and improve the world they see

There’s Something Wrong With You

I’m thinking after writing this I should have a shirt that says, “Even crazy runs away from you.”  I’m thinking acoustic rocker.

“There’s Something Wrong With You”
(c) 2011 Christy Lindsay, all rights reserved

Heaven sent mentality, everyone down on your knees
Here comes the frozen queen, the one who’ll take your soul
Every voice that you hear inside, every need you don’t ask why
The wicked sentences in your eyes, the ones who take control

Color me a bit confused, cause I don’t know who’s up with you
Even crazy runs away from you, so why am I still here?

Crazy crazy you’re a crazy lamb
Dressed up in vodka and Sarafem
Mixing your messages with no clue
There’s something wrong with you
Crazy crazy you’re a crazy child
Dress up truth in a web of lies
I can’t see how you have no clue
There’s something wrong with you

Fake It So Real

This one is a RAWKer. It’s about people who act happy all the time but are so incapable of handling anything, they will stick to a road that’s killing them rather than just take care of the problem and maybe make life better. Hence keeping the road on the wheels. These are people who make it so hard on themselves, they’d rather try to move the road to fit than just take the exit.

“Fake It So Real”

I can see your lips are smiling, a twinkle in your eye
All your words so beguiling, they captivate and bind
The sweetest symmetry between what you think and show
It’s enchanting how you make it work, how I’ll never know

You make it to feel, you make it to deal
You take it to steal, you make it to heal
You try so hard to keep the road on the wheels
Even if it’d be easier to take the stones and the squeals
Hide it all behind the smiling, and you fake it so real

I Love You Too Much

This is what happens when a desire to hear a song by Joan Armatrading crashes into a totally innocuous statement made by someone else entirely and combines to inspire me spontaneously.  This is fairly fast with a definitive Valora/Evanescence/Within Temptation type vibe.  There’s a Joan shout out a few times toward the end too.

“I Love You Too Much”
(c) 2011 Christy Lindsay, all rights reserved

There’s a thorn in my mind, shaped like you
Always revealing what I don’t want to
There’s no escape left, no way to pretend
That I am not confused, that I am willing to bend

What happens when the danger overcomes the need
The desire to hold you brings me down to my knees
When the reasons are convoluted, and the facts in disrepair
What do I hold on to, when the truth becomes clear

The Second Melody

Number two for the day. Do not read if you want to be happy!

“The Second Melody”

Just how long have we shared this melody
The music loud and powerful to give us what we need
No road left untraveled or so we thought as we played
The melody sustained by the passion…the passion

There’s a catch in the voice that sings sincerity
Every song reminds me of the heart that you would bring
To the music that encompassed me and you as we dreamed
Of another melody…but not the one that’s chasing me

It drags me down, makes me creep
It invades my deepest sleep
It soaks my soul in the tears
Of the sounds I’ll never hear
Without thinking of you, without reaching for you
It makes me weep….the second melody

Bad Voodoo

Found a couple songs on the hard drive I’d forgotten about. Here’s one.

“Bad Voodoo”
(c) Copyright 2011 Christy Lindsay

It’s been a long time since I first saw you on the highway
Desperate for a ride and more than happy to do it the wild way
Your rock and roll mind filled my need for clarity
The stars aligned, bodies entwined and you could free me

I was set for life to stay under your gypsy spells
But when the good got bad you’d rather throw me into hell
If you could get by never knowing what was aching me
It was all right, even if it killed me

Hey I don’t wanna bother you, but we’ve got a situation
Please don’t take it wrong but you’ve eaten my inspiration
Do not waste my time with your empty consolations
Don’t wanna redo, the bad bad voodoo that you do

Thoughts on Laurie McAllister

I was in Memphis when I found out that Laurie McAllister, the last bass player for The Runaways, died from asthma complications in late August. For various reasons I didn’t process it at the time, until about 3:00 this afternoon when it suddenly hit me that I was quite bummed. For several reasons, not the least of which of course is that yet another person lodged in the musical soundtrack of my life is gone so young. It’s never fair and I ache for her mother and family.

A trip that inspires truth

I’m not going to pay much attention to grammar because this needs to come out as a flow.

On Sunday, two days shy of my 32nd birthday, I was once again reminded how precious a birthday can be.

My friend Niki and I spontaneously decided to drive to Joplin to do our part in countering a planned protest of the memorial for tornado victims at Missouri Southern State University by a certain “church” of spiteful people.

We arrived at MSSU to find that the gang of sign-waving free haters were nowhere to be seen.  We heard they’d been trapped in a gas station by some patriotic truckers and bikers, which filled out hearts with great joy.  Instead we wandered to where a large group had gathered to watch the President on a big screen as he addressed Joplin.

Waiting to Dream

I’ve had one verse written on a piece of paper for weeks now and suddenly (right when I should be going to bed) the rest came in a flash.  Complete with music for once so hopefully it won’t take me long to get it all down.  NO one is hearing the rough cut.  Yikes.  Sleepy, thirsty Christy vocals are frightening.  Anyway, here are the full lyrics to “Waiting to Dream.”

It’s about those people you know who start off as your staunchest allies, but the moment you start to have your own identity they clamp down and try to drown you.  They despise the dreamer in you but don’t want to let you go; they just want you to be as miserable as they are, and you always seem to be off the script they’re writing in their heads for you.  I’ve broken free from a couple of those, and this is exactly how I felt when I did it, and how I hope I won’t have to feel about someone else anytime soon.