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 I just wanted to send a shout out to one of the single greatest personalities that ever walked through the wrestling business, Bobby “The Brain” Heenan. In the last few years he’s battled cancer, surgeries and rehabilitation, and recently he broke his hip and shoulder, forcing him to pull out of a convention appearance.
The Brain, or as we affectionately called him, “The Weasel,” was one of a handful of people I would credit with actually hooking me on wrestling. Heenan, Jim Ross, The Hart Foundation, The Four Horsemen, the Rock and Roll Express and The Midnight Express with Jim Cornette sucked me in, and Bobby’s commentary with Gorilla Monsoon in particular I still quote today.
[Gorilla talks about the hotline] Gorilla: “Kids, ask your parent’s permission before calling.” Brain: “And if they don’t give you permission, just take a baseball bat, sneak up behind them, and BAM!”
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For those of us who are or were big fans of World Class Championship Wrestling, there were three venues in the Dallas area that are synonymous with our love of the promotion. The Sportatoreum, Reunion Arena and Texas Stadium. More great matches came out of those places that I can count, and for us, those buildings echoed with memories of the Von Erichs, Chris Adams, Bruiser Brody, The Freebirds and dozens of other legends.
 The Sportatoreum and Reunion Arena are gone. In a few days, Texas Stadium will be gone as well. The stadium that hosted the David Von Erich Memorial Parade of Champions and a host of other WCCW events will be no more.
It kind of feels like the end of an era. It’s a shame that the Dallas area couldn’t (wouldn’t?) find a way to keep the stadium alive, for non-Cowboys games, music events, other wrestling shows, whatever.
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When I first got hooked on professional wrestling years ago, I watched a lot of tapes, and Dr. Death Steve Williams was a favorite of mine. No matter what he was supposed to be in the ring, good or bad, he was always a favorite. If he and Terry Gordy were supposed to be villains, sorry, I couldn’t go with it. He was just too cool to hate.
I was really too busy to keep up with wrestlers that were no longer on tv when my mom was sick. After she died, it came to my attention that Steve had “beat” cancer (as well as you can anyway) and efforts were underway to help him out financially. Dr. Death had become Dr. Life. At that exact moment in time, I needed something good like that.
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A few years ago I got to see the documentary Lipstick and Dynamite, about lady wrestlers from way back in the day. It was the first time I ever saw Gladys “Kill’em” Gillem. I loved her immediately, and did quite a bit of research into her after watching the film. She was a character and a half. I’d imagine if there was a heaven in the traditional sense, St. Peter would be doing something like this:
Peter: {with finger to ear bud}: ”Say what? Who’s coming up? Kill’em Gillem?! {dropping his hand to his side} Oh hell, here we go!”
Wish I could have met her. RIP killer.
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One of the most frequent questions I’m asked has to do with death in wrestling and how I could continue to be a fan. Typically this question comes from someone who, despite the long list of deaths in the music industry, continues to listen to music. Or watches Animal House once a year “just for John.” But at the end of the day I guess it’s a valid question and of course I wouldn’t be thinking about it if someone hadn’t just died.
I remember thinking Test (known to himself as Andrew Martin) was sort of adorable back in the day when he was courting Stephanie McMahon. I was one of the small group of people who really liked his T&A tag team with Albert – so long as Al kept his shirt on. I always love a decent tag team and I liked their chemistry. I generally enjoyed almost everything he did in wrestling to some degree. And I was one of many who was genuinely disturbed by how massive he was when he showed up in TNA and ECW.
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OK. Ordinarily I just ignore little things like this but I have been laughing so hard I can’t help myself.
For you non-wrestling fans out there, last night Matt Hardy “turned” on his brother Jeff and hit him in the head with a steel chair. The flood of people yelling at Matt on his MySpace page about it is not what I found so hilarious. I figure some of them were probably playing it up, and for the ones who don’t understand that wrestling revolves around written storylines, well, they have the luck of true suspended disbelief.
What made me laugh so hard was my attempt at trying to get through most of the messages, out of sheer morbid curiosity alone. Usually I wouldn’t point out stuff that makes all wrestling fans look like complete idiots but this really applies to a large portion of the current population. For them and everyone else that posts messages of a similar ilk, I just have a few suggestions. For your future happiness, people!
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 I have to admit something. I, a hardcore wrestling fanatic, have skipped TNA Impact for the last several weeks. Part of that is because I enjoy the Rachel Maddow Show on MSNBC, but the main reason is because there’s nothing on TNA that I have to see. I’ll pop in and watch one or two matches if I hear they’re good, but otherwise I don’t miss it at all.
The Why is simple. There’s no reason why I need to invest any time in it. The World Championship doesn’t mean anything, the World Champion means even less, big matches can’t end in a way that makes any sense and I’m all Gimmick Matched Out.
I don’t like that. I like to enjoy wrestling. I like to tune in to a great television show that inspires me to suspend disbelief and invest in a character. That’s why I like The Golden Girls – I like the characters and care what happens to them. That should be the goal of any show.
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During the buildup to WrestleMania 24, I’ve been thinking a lot about WrestleMania 25. You know Vince McMahon will make a big deal about his baby reaching the quarter century age, as well he should. I wouldn’t be surprised if he pulled out stops he never would ordinarily to make it an even bigger show than it already will be. So I thought I’d throw out a little dream I have for that show. Of course since I’m saying it, that guarantees it will never happen, but dreams don’t always bend on reality.
My idea is pretty simple, and the celebrity involved most likely will have other things to do. If I had my way, this is the way it would go. Now since I can’t control future injuries or new stars, I’m going to use two current wrestlers as an example of what I want to do.
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