The Perfect Drug Commercial

We’ve all seen them.  Those commercials that claim Drug A will cure your every condition, and only cause a few minor side effects.  You know, like death. I’ve never seen a commercial that didn’t turn me off, so I decided to write one that might even attract my attention.  The scene is a lovely rolling stream, where a lovely young lady is standing and smiling her biggest smile.

It is important that the lady is always happy. She must enunciate every word with great joy.

The Five Universal Truths

We are routinely bombarded with “truths” that usually end up looking more like trussed up fairy tales than anything worth holding on to. Because of this, I have compiled what I believe are THE five universal truths no one can dispute. In no particular order:

1. Those of us who are born will eventually die. Fairly self explanatory. I haven’t met a 200-year-old yet.

2. Without purposeful vomital intervention or an unavoidable illness, if you eat too much of it, it will stay. The grand majority of us know this to be true to some degree.

3. There is at least one person who will complain about everything. And at least one who simply doesn’t care about anything.

4. Cats are born with an innate and overpowering attraction to coffee mugs and any cup a human may have.

And finally, what I believe may be the single most important universal truth of all….