My new disease diagnosis

I have officially been diagnosed with Generalized Antipathy Disorder, and there’s no cure.  Luckily there’s a pill I can take that my psychiatrist says will reverse all the symptoms.  Unfortunately, the side effects it lists are nervousness, nausea, dry mouth, sore throat, drowsiness, weakness, uncontrollable shaking of a part of the body, loss of appetite, weight loss, changes in sex drive or ability, excessive sweating, rash, hives, fever, joint pain, swelling of the face, throat, tongue, lips, eyes, hands, feet, ankles, or lower legs, difficulty breathing or swallowing, fever, sweating, confusion, fast or irregular heartbeat, and severe muscle stiffness, seeing things or hearing voices that do not exist (hallucinating) and seizures.

That sounds pretty bad but I guess it’s a small price to pay to not have GAD anymore.

He typed his report on the back of the questionaire I filled out, to keep it all together I guess.  The odd thing is, when he wrote out his report, he blacked out a bunch of stuff on what I wrote, so I thought I’d include his version and then the original, which I took a picture of on my iPhone before I gave it back to him.  Where I was told to fill in the blanks, I’m putting that in quotes so you can see what my part was.

His version:

(Fill in the blanks to complete the sentence)

1.  In general, I often have feelings of “extreme dislike REDACTED.”

2.  In public, I sometimes wish I “could smack some sense into people REDACTED.”

3.  When dealing with peers in everyday situations, I “wish I could stomp on REDACTED these people REDACTED.”

4.  When I am around disruptive children, I “REDACTED want to grab a parent and shake them REDACTED.”

And the original version:

1.  In general, I often have feelings of “extreme dislike for made up psychiatric disorders that have no basis in reality.”

2.  In public, I sometimes wish I “could smack some sense into people who think Motivational Deficiency Disorder is a real disease.”

3.  When dealing with peers in everyday situations, I “wish I could stomp on the plethura of pills these people keep in their cabinets for things that most people would just call simple boredom.”

4.  When I am around disruptive children, I “hope they aren’t being heavily medicated just for acting like kids, sometimes I want to grab a parent and shake them and say he’s five!  He’s supposed to be a little rowdy!”

So I guess I now have Generalized Antipathy Disorder.  The only problem is, I only seem to have it around people who would actually push Generalized Antipathy Disorder as something real that can be fixed with medication.  Medication with all those awful side effects.

By the way, I don’t have a psychiatrist who really diagnosed me with GAD.  I’m just trying to make a point that while there may be some truly damaged people in the world, I don’t believe in a mass majority of the “disorders” that get pushed on us, all in the name of selling a medication that can cause you more harm than what you supposedly had in the first place.  Feeling sad every so often is a condition most often referred to in the past as “normal.”

Oh and the side effects I mentioned?  They’re real.  Those are the possible side effects of Prozac.