Have you ever had one of those days when most of your pet peeves seem to get tripped at one time? It happens, even to those insanely and suspiciously calm people like me. What do you mean that’s funny? I am so super chilled out you wouldn’t even believe it. But even I have my limits. (Stop laughing!)
Those days tend to remind me of other aggravations that tug at my sanity, so I thought I’d share a few, as well as the super great way I got to chill out again after a packed Friday, including one of those trips to Wal-Mart I’d rather forget. Maybe I’ll make some of them funny (and pop myself). Maybe not. We’ll find out, won’t we?
Pet Peeve #6: Toilet Paper Blind
You know someone like this. Maybe you are someone like this. Someone who goes into the communal bathroom at work or in the house and uses the last bit of toilet paper…and then just leaves the roll there on the holder. Perhaps I’m missing something, so clue me in if I am. Is there some universal tractor beam that grabs the hands of these people and forces them to ignore this? They really try to do the super simple task of just replacing the darn roll, but their hand is pulled by something stronger than themselves, forcing them to leave the room, right? Is this the universe’s way of punishing the next person, who might be stressed and then ends up sitting in the stall, hoping a friend comes in soon to end their “oh crap there’s no toilet paper” dilemma?
Let me tell you something, as one of those people who can’t help but feel great aggravation at this (it’s one of the only things I’m really OCD about…why are you laughing again?). Running to the bathroom and then finding out there’s no toilet paper on the roll is not fun, because, if you’re like me, the next person to come in is usually someone you have the hots for, not your friend. And there’s no WAY you’re asking that hottie to hand you a roll. So your choice is to either keep waiting for someone who would not mortify you, or hoping to every god no one walks in while you do the quick pants-down dash to the sink.
I almost got caught once. I think that’s where my high blood pressure came from. Truth is, it’s just not hard to put another stupid roll on the holder. I’ll even give you a free lesson. Squeeze the ends of the holder together to remove it. Take old roll off, put new one on, put it back in the holder. Super simple. And don’t mock me by putting the new roll on TOP of the empty roll. That’s just like rubbing it in. Have a heart. You use it, replace it, unless the janitor locked it up somewhere. Then I give you permission to hide his trash barrel.
Pet Peeve #14: My Texting Is So Much More Important Than You
This is probably the number one thing you can do to ruin an outing with me. Spill something on me, knock the table over on me, trip and slam me into the wall, whatever. But the last thing I want is to go hang out with someone who spends 85 minutes texting insults to the ex. I mean, come on. It’s one or the other. Hang with me, or waste time texting someone you don’t even like. You can’t do both. A minute here and there for important things (like your lost cousin’s brother’s former roommate’s appendectomy), fine. Maybe it’s my abandonment issues and all those old feelings of not being important if anyone else is in the room seeping to the surface or it could just be flat out rude. I’m voting for the latter.
In short, only do a bunch of texting when we’re hanging out if your texting is going to result in a private dance for me from Lzzy Hale or Velvet Sky. Otherwise, I ain’t havin’ it. If the texting will result in my being sent back in time to follow Trish Stratus around on her WWE run, here, have my phone. Otherwise, uh uh.
Pet Peeve #31: I Don’t See Conversations I’m Not In
You know these people. Maybe you are one of these people. The ones so caught up in their own one foot area that nothing else enters the mindstream. So if you’re in the middle of a great conversation with Bob, you can pretty much count on Brenda butting in halfway through and taking over the entire thing. This is very simple to remedy – when you enter the room and see someone you want to talk to, look in their general area. If someone else is there, engage the thought process that determines if said person is speaking or listening. If she is, don’t interrupt. It really is that simple. If you have to butt in, at least act sorry for having to do so. It’s the total hijack that ticks me off. Again, maybe it’s abandonment issues, or maybe it’s just rude. I’ll again vote for the latter.
The Opposite of a Pet Peeve #1: Total Calm
After a day of simple aggravations that build on themselves, it’s nice when the cosmos gives you something good. Like a buddy who shows up on your doorstep unannounced with your favorite fruit and a smile, and then spends a couple hours dancing with you to Pink songs and cuddling with you and your cats. Sometimes good and total communication brings great things. When you both can be happy being together without commitments, constraints or worries, and just enjoy time every now and then. Hanging out. Being. Being total calm. It’s awesome.
Pet peeves? What are those again? Maybe Stormer and I will go dance to “Glitter In The Air” again.
